Well, the house is like so quiet now. Heh…yeah, my three kids went out with our aunt. HUH?! Don’t get it? Well, they aren’t my kids la. Currently, I am babysitting two 14 yr old boys and another 10 yr old girl. They are my cousins, all from my Dad’s side. And they are…Jon, Nick and May. Well…there u go..look at these pics we took when I brought them out to Chilis, 1 Utama. WE had a good time la.

Wanted to load up the picture, but I’m not too sure now what happened to those pics. My pc doesn’t seem to be recognizing it. *sigh* will just take again and see what I can do bout it. No sweat, all though, I’ve taken a lot of stupid clips they have made. LOL…or ROFL!! They brought so much joy to me these days, all though sometimes, I will need to sound them for slacking at certain things, but I knew in every single scolding they received from me, I gave them an explanation. Btw, I didn’t really have to scold them a lot. I didn’t even raise my voice, thus I can still sing…hahhahaa.

Well, I had been really excited since yesterday. Know why? Cause my cousins were all asking me so many questions about rapture, why it happened? When will it happen? And what will happen? These questions gave me a lot of ways to reach out to them why we need Christ. Why people on earth need Christ? I never once treat them as kids without brains that, as long as I decide to take their hands and pray the sinner’s prayer with them and that’s IT!! They are now born again!! I don’t believe in that. Well, if you disagree, then do explain further to me, I am no theologian, but I do understand that God doesn’t force one to accept Him. He didn’t force me then, and since I’d knew Him since 1996, I’ve learnt well enough that my God is a GentleMan, and He doesn’t and will never force His way to us. He reaches out to us, YES; but so long if the door is tightly shut, then He will not go in. So my prayer has been that God will make my lil ones understand and see His goodness. That they will understand why my aunt is always pushing this Jesus into their lives, I want them to know, and I want them to willingly tell me thru their mouth that they want to accept Christ!! And I did!!

Though I haven’t led them thru the sinner’s prayer all over again yet, which I think I will soon, I knew Jon’s heart was already there. He has always been trying, so that I am not worried of. All I need to is help him see who Jesus is. But both Nick and May, I knew they were both quite ignorant about it, and all my life as a Christian, I knew they weren’t really interested, and they had a distorted perception of who Christ is, or simply just…clueless who is this Jesus guy. I recognized that as soon as they arrived that this will be my opportunity to reach out to these people. And it’s true my dear friends, the best way to teach them is thru your actions. How true!! You want them to learn bout God’s love, God’s kindness, God’s goodness, and all that He is, slowly one by one, show them everyday, one by one, and teach them, explain to them in their level, bring it down. Tune your frequency to them, it will work, cause it is for me!! And I just want to thank God for giving me all that I needed then, I knew that my cousins knew more about who Jesus is these few days then they had since someone told them, “You’re now a Christian!”.

I know that to different kids, maybe different ways can be applied. However for my cousins now, I knew that I had been moving in the right track. Why? Because something happened this morning and I almost saw the Devil grinning in silent victory. My aunt made a comment to one of my cousins’ shirt and I knew being the person she is, her words were not very nice la. So quietly and a little hurt he went back to the room and changed. Sensing something was wrong, and certainly didn’t want them to feel bad and hurt and take it all personal., I hurried to their room.

And this was his first sentence to me, his face a little downcast, “Jie ar, I don’t wanna go church later anymore”.

I said, “Why?”.

“Going to church is so troublesome; you can only wear a certain kind of clothes”

“Why? Do you have any other shirt?”

“Most of them are in wash,” he said.

I checked his luggage and ..*sigh*..well, all those t-shirts were just not those that my aunt can say, “PASSED..GO!”  You see, my aunt is a very neat person, which is a respectable quality, a gift. Anyway, that wasn’t what I wanted to say. It will be a long story if I want to go to that, so I just told him that I will find something for him to wear, and I knew he was a little hesitant about it. Knowing what was forming in their heads, I quickly tell them that all Christians are also humans and that they are not God. And that although things they say sometimes may hurt them, I told them in a serious tone that they should and must not ever let that cloud their minds and think that God is like that, because God is never like that. I even made them promised me that no matter what happens, they will always try their best protect that truth. And…they did. We all pinky-promised, then it was all good again.

Anyway, sometimes things like that can be unavoidable, but I knew better that the last thing the Devil wants is to see is that Jesus scores again. So I just tipped them a little bit of how to behave and all, so now they’re on their own. My aunt may be quick tempered, but I know that she has a heart of gold. So I reminded them that they should try to also understand her and just be good. Well, they all promised, now I’m hoping that they’re keeping it. =)

Well, I think they will be all rite la. God is sovereign after all.

No sweat!!

You Oughta Know

I want you to know that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on your in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

'Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

'Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died
But you're sill alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

Well, just days before I received news from a very respectable man about something that was important to me, and this song from deal Alanis became my theme song.

*sarcastic snort*

Rather dumbfounded, I was only glad that I came outta it like some 3 weeks ago. I was surprised myself that I wasn’t even crying, no I was not pathetic. No! NO! I literally put my hand over my heart and feel it, it wasn’t aching…*silence*…*I nodded, relieved yet surprised*

I am glad that I was over it. The only thing that was left was a sheer disappointment. It was true that my heart was not very much affected, but I couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed and, it was a big ouch, like a stab in your gut. You know, that kinda feeling? ..betrayed..or..or…hmmm…cheated?...

I was talking to a friend, the feeling was like this example; I found this original CD that I’ve been searching for ages. News around said that I won’t find it no more, it is a rare breed. I was absolutely thrilled and delirious when I found it, PAID the PRICE and brought it home with me. Even detaching the protecting film was done delicately, not wanting to leave any scratch marks on the cover or anything that has to do with the CD. Then as I opened it and saw the smooth looking reflection from the CD, I beamed with pride, thinking that I’ve FOUND it, alas!! I put it in my player, played it and the music that filled the still air was almost heaven, I’ve been waiting far too long for it. Happy tears would roll down my cheeks.

Only that the next day I read it at the front page of STAR Newspaper, Music Store Closed Down –Owner Arrested for deceiving public with pirated Original merchandize. I was horrified!! Angry!! Mad!! Couldn’t really accept the fact that I was CHEATED!!! Damn IT!!! I paid the PRICE!!!!! And it was all just for this ugly piece of sh*t?!?!?!?!? I mean…..[oh well, go imagine la if this happened to u ok? Bear in mine, you paid really really a LOT for it!!]

Oh well…yea…that part of what I felt la. I was listening to the song and I knew this line it was a slap in the face, how quickly I was replaced?! Was exactly like a slap in my face and definitely a humongous OUCH!!!

*deep breath*

But I guessed life moves on…I knew I have learnt a lot from the lesson. I dun pity myself..not even close to sorry for myself…I think I’m sorry for the Music Store Owner. What a character?

: : e n d : :

Standing Ovation
according to john

Amongst us lives a man named Steven,
I hear about him from what people say,
A man of conviction,
Who was not afraid to stand up for what he believed.

He knew how to please the Father
By giving all the glory to the Son,
And with boldness he reminded the younger seeds,
This Jesus really was the Holy One,

Before the devil tried to drag them, out of God's mercy,
To save them, he would pray for their lives,
Before the jagged edges cut them,
He looked up into heaven,
And when he turned his eyes, he saw a...

Standing ovation from Jesus Christ our King,
A standing ovation there was a great cloud of witnesses,
Angels all singing
Cause many would deny the Savior,
When standing face to face with death,
But Steven would not deny, he was ready to die,
He would be faithful to the very last breath
He stood for Jesus, and Jesus stood for him

I hope that one day I will become,
Half the person Steven is,
A man who is willing to stand for the Lord,
In everything he does,
And when I get up there in heaven,
I'm gonna find Steven in the crowd that very first day,
I wanna be standing right beside him,
We'll turn our eyes on Jesus,
We're gonna join right in the praise,
We'll be givin Him a...

Standing ovation, for Jesus Christ the King,
A standing ovation, we'll cry, "Holy, Holy, Holy, Worthy is the Lamb!"
Cause He could've called ten thousand angels,
To return Him to his Father's side,
But Jesus would not turn His eyes, He was ready to die,
He would be faithful to the very last breath...

Standing ovation, for Jesus Christ the King,
A standing ovation, we'll cry, "Holy, Holy, Holy, Worthy is the Lamb!"
Cause He could've called ten thousand angels,
To return Him to his Father's side,
But Jesus would not turn His eyes, He was ready to die,
He would be faithful to the very last breath...

For You are holy, holy, holy are You Lord my God...


note: lyrics has been changed for event purposes..you can view the original lyrics from here
http://www.accordingtojohn.com/a2jlyrics.htm

skum: serene, thank you for that beautiful song.
furunu: ps, i hope you like it.
skum: where did you get the song from?
furunu: well, the original song wasn't very much different, including the name, it was Stephen.
*grins*
furunu: we just changed a couple of words only.
skum: this song is so good. i think every pastor would be touched if his people would to
sing it to him/her. it is such a meaningful song!
furunu: pastor, i send u the song with the lyrics ok?
*smiles*


note: conversation was paraphrased


the skum
we have a friend who is unwell  =)
*spaghetti cooked*
cooked to send food over to the family  =)
*smiled..moved*


ps, it is indeed a pleasure to bless others;
and it is my privilege to be serving under your leadership.

Thank you ps!

Jane woke up, and saw there sittin on her work desk, was an envolope and her name was written across. She flipped around and noticed that there was nothing else on it, except for her name. Who can this be from? She wondered. She opened the envolope and a beautiful white feather was placed in between a piece of folded letter, or some sort.

Small as it was, it was not any less majestic looking. A beautiful white blade, elegant and undoubtedly alluring. Even though it was slid in between such a narrow gap, it was still perfectly flawless. It seemed to Jane that that was no ordinary feather. Small as in the size campared to most things, but it was strangely larger than any kind of birds she could think of. Still, the beauty of the white blade was far too captivating for her mind to think other wise, her eyes was fixed to every single detail she could pick up.

Eventually, she pulled out the piece of folded paper. The letter was not adressed to anyone, or maybe not letter, but a poem or some sort. She read on. Her eyes widening as her heart began to pound harder.
 

it's been awhile,
since i last stood by the setting sun,
and my arm was firmly clutching her back

it's been awhile,
since i last had her hand in mine,
and mine in hers..fingers intertwining

it's been awhile,
since i last was sitting on the beach,
and i kissed her softly on her tender lips

it's been awhile,
since i last had her with me staring at the moon
with my arms embracing her around her waist

it's been awhile,
since i last smiled just looking at her,
and knowing that i could call her mine forever..almost forever

it's been awhile,
since i last whispered "i love you, baby",
and i knew that i vowed to marry her one day

it's been awhile,
since i last thought that i was walking in my dreams,
..and only to find out that i was awaken by the dawn of a different beginning

it's been awhile,
since i last heard from her,
her low, husky voice that reverberated my soul within then..

...seemed so distant from me now..

..it's been awhile..

...

..it's been awhile..

- a.h.a.w. -

Still finding it hard to breathe, she tried to compose herself, her emotions. It was just too...too sudden. She was not expecting it. Not at all, she turned around and there she was, sitting on a bench and before her eyes, she could see the broad horizon with the setting sun. The ambience of the sky, a mixture of violet, blue and orange. She took a deep breath with her eyes closed, she looked down into her hands. The piece of folded paper was gone except for the white blade of feather, still as gorgeous looking as ever, on that it looked so much larger.

For two seconds, she stared at it, then holding it up against the great emanation from the sun, she could see the silver lining between the fine texture of the white feather. It was such a breath taking sight, then almost an instant, she couldn't tell whether was it from the ray of the setting sun or was it from the white blade itself; because the silver lining was bursting into some sort of light source, glowing brighter and brighter every second. It was almost blinding her, that she had to turn her face away. Jane thought she dropped the feather because, by then both her hands were shading her eyes from the blinding light that was piercing her sight seconds ago, but the light got stronger and stronger, hanging in midair, on her eye level. The immense light was so overwhelming, she felt as though something was trying to cut through her very being. There was no sign of strong wind yet she swore there was a mystifying presence that was consuming her, and the strangest thing was, she did not feel strange at all, nor was she even struggling to be free. One could read from the tone of her face muscle; she was completely relaxed, surrendered to that invisible presence. And there, etched across her face was the most radiant smile.

Jane squeezed her closed eyes, blinking as though there were dust on her eye lashes, her vision slowly becoming clearer. She saw there sittin on her work desk, a single white calla lily sitting in a tall, slender, blue tinted glass vase. The water in it was three quarter full.

It was from Meryl, her dear friend.